Is this for real?

How could I possibly be awake THIS early?! I feels like a bad dream and all I really want to do is just sleep a couple of extra hours. How ridiculous is it for my job to require that you come back from vacation on a Saturday?! Bastards! I'm sure this is illegal somewhere, it just has to be! I keep looking at my bed and thinking about how great it feels just to be splattered all over it, just carefree. Maybe I just need some light & sweet and injected RIGHT INTO MY EYES!